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We live in a fluff-free era—people know what they want and aren't afraid to express their opinion in ALL CAPS, followed by a series of passive-aggressive emojis. In hopes of answering your burning questions, here are 13 dating apps ranked (lovingly and subjectively) on how likely you are to end up takin' old one-eye to the optometrist.

’s Robby Soave called for an i Phone app that would clear up pesky he-said, she-said rape cases by recording “mutual consent” to engage in sexual activity before two people do the deed: “Maybe they would have to input a password and then touch phones, or something? Last week, his prayers were answered: The Good2Go sexual consent app isn’t as touch-and-go as the app of Soave’s dreams, but it does encourage sex partners to assess their mutual interest in sex and record their intoxication levels before getting busy.

Here’s how it works: After deciding that you would like to have sex with someone, launch the Good2Go app (free on i Tunes and Google Play), hand the phone off to your potential partner, and allow him or her to navigate the process to determine if he or she is ready and willing. ” the first screen asks, prompting the partner to answer “No, Thanks,” “Yes, but … Only Yes means Yes, BUT can be changed to NO at anytime!

Start off by making a profile as you would on any other dating app.

Then, check out trending conversations among people located nearby and join discussions centered around specific categories, such as travel and events, food, and fashion and lifestyle.

(For example, the “Partner is intoxicated but is Good2Go.”) Easy, right?

There isn’t even in-app messaging because as Dowling explains: “We found that our users prefer to speak on the phone.” So maybe they’re not looking for hookups, but the idea of just how matches are made are very Tinder-ish.

All other choices lead to a screen, which asks the partner if she is an existing Good2Go user or a new one.

If she’s a new user, she’s prompted to enter her phone number and a password, confirm that she is 18 years old, and press submit.

Unfortunately, we're literally engineered to gravitate towards attractive individuals who smell like redwood trees and caramel.

If a phone sex hotline and Tinder drank and had a baby, it would come out as Revealr.